Here is a holiday card I threw together for my erstwhile coworker who left for greener pastures in San Francisco, because, apparently, everybody does that.
Some background: this friend is the original creator of the panda mascot – which at one time was the mascot of Shôjo Beat, a manga anthology mag for girls. Naturally, I lost no time in appropriating, adulterating, and parodying the heck out of this panda, whose official version, in what I believe to be a hopelessly crooked naming contest, was christened “Moko” by the Shôjo Beat fans.
Whatev. It will always be Kam-chan to me.
The holiday gift from my office manager to all the (female) admins was rings. Shiny! I got four stackable silver rings, each with a different color gemstone. And now I know my ring size, which I never knew before. Useful.
MEANWHILE, I discovered that the metal allergy that has kept me from wearing earrings for 20 years doesn’t bother me as long as I wear earrings plated in 24k gold. I’ve gone as high as 14k in the past, but even that, sterling silver, and titanium causes reactions after a few days. But I’ve been wearing these new posts for a solid week, and I am fine. Sweet! 24k plated vermeil is not expensive.
Now, please excuse me while I go get that gold tooth and belly ring I’ve been dying for.
My complete ignorance of holiday green bean casserole (i.e. its existence, what goes into it) has prompted my Texan coworker to buy me, as a Christmas gift, the “Campbell’s Classic Recipes” cookbook (2006 edition).
These recipes fly in the face of all those Mollie Katzen “vegetable heaven” books I’ve been checking out of the library. For one thing, page 123 is dedicated to “Tomato Soup Spice Cake” (ingredients: 1. spice cake mix, 2. Campbell’s Condensed Tomato Soup).
Nothing can derail a diet faster than duck liver mousse, but it’s so, so good. ZOMG.
Frog Base is kicking my ass.
Well, I finally bought a new keyboard with a working space key. Neat little wireless bugger, too. Belatedly, I realized that the lack of a dedicated number pad will soon drive me completely bats.
Still, setup was a breeze. Thanks, Apple!
Half of me wants to take my usual Tuesday night free weights class (instructor: Trudog, self proclaimed Homo Rapper of midtown), but the other half of me really wants to check out the clearance sales at the about-to-be-history CompUSA.
As if in answer to my itchy, fevered prayers, Shape magazine offered this link to itch reducing pajamas.
As the downloadable brochure proudly claims, and I quote, this product makes it “easier to pull the fabric off dried blood.”
Throughout my entire copyrighting career, never had fate seen fit to grant me a marketing phrase of such genius. What the hell was I thinking?
2:54pm. Seem to have developed an allergic reaction to my shirt. Boobs splotchy. Do not want to run 6 miles with splotchy boobs. But I guess that’s what it takes…to be a winner!
On Saturday, all the single people my age are clinging to the wall with one hand and clutching a cosmo/ibuprofen combo in the other, saying something like, “Yeah, I just woke from a dead blackout with mystery bloodstains all over my pants too.”