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Breathe

Yesterday, a giant steel girder fell from the sky like an omen from the construction site across the street. I heard the impact. There were no casualties. Construction workers scurried off with the offending structure, like ants.

In South Africa, they are running out of grave space and are interring new bodies on top of old bones. The AIDS epidemic is advanced enough in some places that in a few years, there will be a noticeable absence of women.

Personal Trainer Man says that I tend to hold tension, and that I should breathe, release. I don’t know about this. I would like more drugs. I’m going back on the Pill on Sunday; we’ll see if that helps. Funny, the first time I went on birth control pills, I spent my nights listening for blood clots lodging in my limbs. It’s rare but not unheard of for girls to have strokes… I wonder if Carmen ever recovered from hers? She was only a few months older than me, and then – bam – she comatose, or brain dead.

Oh, yeah, I was supposed to be breathing, right?

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