Home > Uncategorized > Because I’m too good at forgetting

Because I’m too good at forgetting

My baby cousin got married this weekend. It’s a bit freaky because we’ve been estranged for so long (though no fault of our own), that we really don’t know each other at all. But Matt found me and went through the trouble of contacting me, and is now including me in his family (who have all been quite warm and welcoming).

Aunt Jane says he kept a photo of me pinned to his wall all these years. (My naturalization. I’m outside the Statue of Liberty in a short sleeved dress, so it must have been a warm day. I am five, maybe six. You can see the Twin Towers in the distance. I have no memory of this.) I find this odd, because while I vaguely remember being heartbroken when he moved away, anything that happened to me prior to the age of, say, 25, is awfully fuzzy. But then, I don’t collect photographs, and I’m good at forgetting.

The wedding was fine as weddings go. (What would I know?) The dress was beautiful, the bride radiant, and the groom whatever the male version of “radiant” is. The church was bright and had a lovely round stained glass window, and the best man’s toast at the reception was both humorous and touching. Oh, and there was a fountain of chocolate.

Oddly enough, genetically related siblings DO look like each other. My mother kind of looks like all her sisters, and I have always had trouble remembering which uncle is which. (I know them by sight and can match the wives and kids correctly, but uncle Rick looks SO much like a Pat, and Uncle Pat looks SO much like a Rick.) My cousins Matt (the groom, whom my mother says has the face of a poet), Rory, and Molly all kind of look alike, and Aunt Janine’s kids look almost exactly like Uncle Pat’s. (OK, as far as I know, hers are all boys, and his are mostly girls.) Luckily, Uncle Rick adopted Marina from Russia, so she is brunette and thereby distinguishable in the sea of tiny blonde ragamuffins.

Marina’s mother Joanne wishes me to pull an Obi-Wan and encourage Marina in her martial arts. Not sure exactly how to do this, as the child is only nine. I think we usually teach kids by withholding the lollypops until class is done. I shall have to look into this.

I’m trivializing, of course. But what else can I say? That I don’t really know these people, but they seem beautiful and intelligent and loving, and probably well-meaning as well? That I think I like them and would love them if I could. That I’m sorry I don’t care more than I do, but maybe I can work up to it.

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