The geisha movie, as expected, was visually beautiful and amazingly melodramatic. It was good to see Gong Li in such fine form as a truly excellent villainess. It’s enough to make me go around spouting lines like “I shall destroy you!” — which comes in handy, epecially in the following situation.

Last night when my mom went to get Chinese takeout, she ordered brown rice. What they gave her was white rice dyed brown with soy sauce. Now, I know my mom is a white woman, but come on. Bitch! Do my eyes not slant??? Do you want me to get all TaeKwon-do on your ass??? I SHALL DESTROY YOU!!!

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