Archive for February, 2006

DAMNIT! I couldn’t resist.

February 28, 2006 54 comments
You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Come to think of it, I’m not sure they even taught us algebra until 9th grade. But my memories of anything prior to 2005 are a bit fuzzy.

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February 23, 2006 21 comments

I’m having a weird craving for pan-fried wheat gluten right now.

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February 21, 2006 Leave a comment

Watched Ong-Bak, an incredibly awesome/ridiculous Muay Thai kickboxing flick. Tony Jaa’s legs were on fire! I mean, literally, they were on fire! Anyway, to sum it up:

Tony Jaa’s Martial Arts Master: You must promise me you will never use your ridiculously lethal kickboxing skills. Ever.

Tony Jaa: I promise.

Tony Jaa proceeds to use his ridiculously lethal kickboxing skills for the next hour and a half.

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Today’s new phrase…

February 15, 2006 Leave a comment

Just learned today, is this:

“Christ-fuckingly awful”

Thank you for your support.

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On Travel

February 15, 2006 17 comments

Everywhere I travel is strangely like New Jersey. “Strangely” because I don’t even live in New Jersey, a place I’ve always found to be mildly foreign and inconvenient, if occasionally disarming in a picket fence-ish sort of way. So: LA was New Jersey with pathologically well manicured palm trees. Hawaii was New Jersey with the McDonalds McTeri (the “-aki” is silent) and incessant sun. San Francisco was Jersey in pastels. Perhaps Asia is far enough.

Although I have a definite and aggressive immune response to anywhere but here. Hives and rawness, alternating despair and existential angst. Either I’ve evolved so specifically to this city that I’m simply un-viable anywhere else, or I am truly addicted to it, toxins and all, and New Hampshire actually triggers chemical withdrawal.

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February 13, 2006 6 comments

Folk music is useless when you are on a treadmill.

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You wanna know what I did to get in here?

February 13, 2006 41 comments

Nothing…I didn’t have anything better to do.

Aimless Starbucks-hopping, which is pathetic. I have tried patonizing mom and pop coffeehouses, but their coffee is generally weak, and I can NEVER FIND THE FREAKIN’ BATHROOMS. Why, mom and pop shops??? Why do you make it so hard to love you???

I also have trouble hanging out in libraries, because I hate libraries. I like library books, but there’s just something so authoritarian and potentially mean about librarians that I can never stand being around them. They look like they’re just itching to tell me to be quiet or to search my bag for contraband. Thank god for LEOLINE, which allows me get in and get out fast. And for Starbucks, because despite their evil megalo-corporateness and stupid cup size naming system, they never do yell, and their bathrooms are easily accessible.

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