Home > Uncategorized > Might I Be a Redneck?

Might I Be a Redneck?

I find it vaguely unnerving to be living (for the night) on the ground floor of any dwelling that lacks industrial strength deadbolds and electric fencing. With just one flimsy front door and a handful of windows that seem completely accessible from the outside world, locks or no, it feels like there’s next to nothing between me and a potential stabbing. My friend says that she sometimes sleeps with the only lockable door between her bedroom and the back yard open for air…but the last protection left after that is a screen door with no lock. What the?! Granted, the back yard is sort of fenced in, but jeez! Those crazy Vermontian ex-pats.

So I slept with all the doors locked tight, and suppressed any urges to cover the windows with aluminum foil. All I need now is a shotgun and a fifth of vodka. Er…Jim Beam. Wild Turkey. One of those white wine spritzers with bits of fruit in it.

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