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Alien Seed

So the new Quaker Oats ad on the sides of buses that says “Go humans” merely confirms what I’ve suspected for a long time: MR. QUAKER OATS GUY IS AN ALIEN. Maybe that explains his unnatural passion for oatmeal.

One of my coworkers was schooled by Quakers, by which I mean attended a Quaker school when he was young. Their basic philosophy, as taught to him, was “don’t be a dick.” Ah, the Golden Rule.

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