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Archive for April, 2009

Fitness Angst/Nike: Effing Just Do It, Already

April 30, 2009 Leave a comment

Had dinner last night with Rho and her brother Randy. It turns out that he has joined Crossfit and started eating paleo down in Florida. He highly recommends Crossfit. He’s basking in the glow of that fitness honeymoon phase, a state I remember well from my TKD time – days would go by when all I wanted to do was kick. I’m jealous.

Auuuugh!!! The Crossfit website has been taunting me for weeks. I want to join, but are they a cult??? IS their fitness as functional as they claim? (There is controversy in the blogosphere, after all.) Do they work out too many times a week doing exercises that aren’t varied enough? From their posts, all the Crossfit bloggers seem chronically sore and injured. (This is similar to the hardcore martial artists I know.) If you only do Crossfit 2x a week, and something else on the other days, will they look down on you and say that you are weak willed and stupid? ARE they a cult??? Even if they are, is it my DESTINY??? Aaaaaargh!!!

That said, what I need is a fitness religion, not a cult. A community broad and deep enough to believe in without crushing doubt and disillusionment, and an activity that can get me into a Csikszentmihalyi-ish state of flow every once in a while. Also, something that works.

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The glass is at 50% capacity

April 29, 2009 Leave a comment

In the past few months, I’ve been to Avenue Q, a Katy Perry concert, and The 39 Steps (which I thoroughly enjoyed and recommend). I’ve been to Nobu 57 on a failed date. I’ve been to a meditation seminar in which all the speakers (white, middle class) seemed to have (kind of creepily) taken Sanskrit (?) names. I’ve had a peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwich at the Peanut Butter & Co. sandwich shop in the Village (awesome!). I’ve compared Magnolia Bakery cupcakes with Crumbs Bakeshop cupcakes. (It’s still tastier if you make your own, even from a mix. Caveat: you must whip or make your own frosting out of real butter, cream cheese, nut butter, chocolate or other natural ingredients. Frosting out of a can just tastes awful.)

I started a happiness journal but gave up in a fit of angst when I consistently dug up only two happy things to write about each day. On the bright side, I took some happiness tests at the authentic happiness site that told me while I am pessimistic about positive events, I am also optimistic about negative events. It’s a draw! I went to the Jekyll & Hyde club for lunch with a coworker (NOT my idea) and was depressed out of my head by the unsuccessful actors working the lunch shift. Note to anyone reading: Jekyll & Hyde is not a good place for a serious heart to heart (also not my idea). The out of work actors will insist on putting on their tacky, depressing show, which will drown out any meaningful conversation anyone is trying to have with you. Plus, the Caesar salad is blah.

I twittered. I tried not hard enough and therefore failed to create meaningful relationships or meaning in my life or faith in anything. I finally got around to reading the Watchmen graphic novel (good stuff!). I sat in the sun.

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Fun Things

April 29, 2009 Leave a comment

Saw The Thirty Nine Steps at the Helen Hayes Theater with M. & A. last week. Thoroughly enjoyable show! Impressive use of hats. A tall guy sat in front of M., but luckily there was nobody sitting behind her, and she was able to get a child’s booster seat. This was amusing, as was the tale she told of her mother getting cleaned by car wash.

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Amazon: Your mom has such bad taste that…

April 23, 2009 Leave a comment

Amazon.com is recommending that I buy the Twilight series for my mother on Mother’s Day.

I am not taking their suggestion, because I want to keep her.

Amazon, not only do you not know me, but you have seriously misjudged the character of my mom.

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Weight Loss Rant

April 20, 2009 Leave a comment

Have gained the rather alarming amount of 4 pounds in the last week. Note: My goal every week is to lose the 1-2 pounds of flab that all the diet and fitness rags say is “sensible” and “sustainable.” I am currently 7 pounds heavier and 6% more body fat-tastic than I was just before Thanksgiving, so this whole year has been an epic weight loss fail.

Yes, I am one of those people you see at the gym, year in, year out. No, I haven’t made any visible progress and look pretty much the same. You could say I’m spinning my wheels and am a total failure. Or you could say that I’m successfully maintaining, more or less.

Let’s recap. I’ve done the treadmill jogging, the outdoor jogging, interval training, kickboxing classes, many reps with light weights, fewer reps with heavier weights, bodyweight exercises via Turbulence Training, martial arts, and the occasional yoga class. I can do 100 pushups and two minute planks, but 0 full pull ups. But I don’t think I could give you a perceived rate of exertion to save my life, and therefore I’m probably not working out hard/smart enough. Also, they say you can never outrun a bad diet, so no doubt this is where I fall down: I eat pretty healthy food, but I eat far too much of it. When you’re sub-4’11”, 1200 calories (from the correct sources) is plenty, no matter how paltry your brain thinks it is.

I sabotage myself by thinking things like, Oh, it’s clean food/it’s healthy fat/it’s low carb/it’s an effing piece of fruit/it’s an effing piece of squash/I just finished a 24 hour intermittent fast/I’m always cold because I do IF/I developed secondary amenorrhea because of the IF/I’m hungry because of the hormone pills I’m taking for the secondary amenorrhea/I always drink too much decaf when I’m doing IF, and isn’t decaf even worse for you than regular coffee, because of the acidity/nutrient malabsorption? Bitch bitch, whine whine. These are obviously all excuses I use just to curl up and binge on peanut butter. If I wanted badly enough to be thin, I would be thin.

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Our Star Trek will go on?

April 18, 2009 56 comments

Near…far…WhereEVER…

Oh, sorry.

Don’t I have a standing date to see the new Star Trek movie with some of y’all?

Just thought I’d put it out there before I forgot, the way I did with the last college reunion. By the way, someone text me or whatever the next communication technology is in time for the next one. I’ve become immune to snail mail. 🙂

P.S. No, I’m not on FaceBook. If you need me that badly, you can text. 😛

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Nutella? I barely knew… D’oh. That doesn’t work at all, does it?

April 16, 2009 Leave a comment

My parents never heard of Nutella before today. They were clued in by Giada De Laurentiis, who was making some sort of dessert pizza on her Food Network show. My parents were taken aback and somewhat appalled.

Giada regaled viewers with tales of the Nutella sandwiches of her childhood. The equivalent of a culinary car wreck, the idea was too perversely compelling for my parents to ignore. “Child abuse!” they cried. And they couldn’t fathom what kind of bread could be used to make such a thing. Not Triscuits, surely. Not matzo, and not whole wheat. (Note: If I were in the habit of eating bread, grain products, or sugar, I wouldn’t refuse a Nutellaed slice of whole wheat bread.) Cinnamon raisin, perhaps? they wondered. (Me: “Meh.”) Finally, they settled on toasted pound cake slices or challah.

Personally, I would so go the toasted baguette route. In the old days, of course.

As it is, there is a recipe for a healthier chocolate hazelnut spread on this site. And it would probably be delectable on some hot coconut griddle cakes. I’m just sayin’.

Heh! It’s obvious my parents are not of a generation that could take a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and call it dinner. More power to them! And they will never understand.