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Archive for July, 2011

Crush It

July 29, 2011 Leave a comment

Don’t know why I have to dog the days
Cry havoc and let slip the strays
I’m foaming at the mouth again
And you can’t hold me down

Too much caffeine to look before I leap to the fray
Tripping wires that conspire to awaken the dead
But the faithless need foxholes to lead them to grace
And you can’t hold me down

I need to run just one more lap round this block
Score on my body’s accounts one more notch
And will to be still my vitreous heart
You can’t hold me down

This exhaustion knows no bounds
Still I’m running down the hounds
And though I long to lay me down
You can’t hold me down

You know I’d love to take a nap
Keep myself calmly upon your lap
But you’re in an alternate time, and while it overlaps mine
You can’t really touch me at all

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Ante Meridiem Redux (the same damn thing, but now it rhymes)

July 26, 2011 Leave a comment

These days, above all else, I am sane
Sleep seven hours a night
And vow not to fight with the morning sunlight
That colors the air with its stain

I’ll take a handful of vitamin pills
For the fruit I’ve forgotten
Has begun to go rotten
A large coffee will do for the thrills

I take a walk in the cool a.m. air
For once I’m making good time
While thin yellow sunshine
Grants grace to the world that is there

In a heartbeat it all becomes real
Objects snap to their places
For a moment their faces
Resonate with platonic ideals

Time stands still in the crystalline shine
Fragile and lit like a microscope slide
Suspended in its span, I briefly understand
It’s not enough for a life, but it’s mine

Clarity dissipates silently
The fine balance is lost
But I know it’s the cost
Truth returns if I just set it free

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Ante Meridiem

July 26, 2011 2 comments

Above all else, I am sane.
I take my sunlight like a vitamin
Sleep 7 hours a night
Buy organic vegetables and days later discover them rotting in a refrigerator drawer
Make an effort to walk in open air
Meditate
and be punctual
All this to buy me a single daily moment, that crystalline beat
Of clarity, of brightness, the edges of objects crisply delineated, but not sharp enough to wound
Resonating with platonic ideals
As I somnambulate through the thin, yellow light of early morning.
This is not enough, but is something.
Admit it, I’m the steadiest person you know.

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This actually happened to me

July 25, 2011 5 comments

On Central Park South, between 7th and 6th, a psychic stopped me on the street.
“Everything you’re doing is wrong,” said she.
“You’ve been cursed by someone in your past, tragically.
I can help set you free, for a small fee.”
With all the science at my disposal, I shook. She looked like a banker,
Not like a crook. It was all I could do to decline and to thank her.

Soldier

July 25, 2011 4 comments

My dreams are of violence, though I am a peaceable man
Awake to the ache of somnambulant miles that I ran
Gravely feeling out the airless space
In the 6am sunlight, I stole a moment of grace
Then descended to the 1 train with coffee in hand
Steeling my stomach for the battle’s next stand

 

Swing low, sweet Charon, it’s good to see you here
This underground of muffled sound where I could sleep for all my years
There’s no urgency beneath these streets
The song you sing is sad and sweet
And slow, the beat beneath the beat
I drop my coins down at your feet
And then I leave, I have to leave

 

I’m not ready to give up the ghost
Not ready to desert my post
I’ll stay calm; I’ll carry on
Although you’re gone
Although I miss you, and you’re gone

 

I’m often lonesome at my desk
Pushing paper, passing tests
This human failure to connect
No isolated incident
I know you felt it too

 

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Bridge & Tunnel Vision

July 14, 2011 Leave a comment

You say it’s been a hard year
And that you’ve failed to thrive
And that you can find for yourself no more slack
You can find no more give in this life

  • The train’s a shrinking terrarium whose shape your spirit’s grown to fit
    Where time abdicates all meaning, but you can’t seem to free yourself from it
    Outwardly still, but in truth you’re hurtling through the dark
    Inwardly fretful and full of regret in the dark

  • The past isn’t what you thought it was
    The woman across the breakfast table’s not the girl with whom you fell in love
    You confabulate a history to
    Satisfy your need for mystery
    Too close to feel if the tale rings true
    You’re still full of hope her heart will come back to you
    You look in her eyes, and you hope she’ll come back to you

  • What you signed up for’s not what you got
    But when pressed you confessed that that’s all of our lot
    So you think of the kids and you narrow your gaze
    Try to find some small measure of joy in your days
    Coffee and movies and Chinese food on Fridays
    Talking with friends, running fast as you can through the pain

  • I wish I could discern the plan
    I wish I were a better man
    To bridge troubled waters and be strong
    But you’re getting along
    For now I can tell that you’re getting along

  • Passing through the years in increments
    You’ll disregard the lack of sense
    The rift between cause and effect
    Get through the day and then get through the next
    At that point, anything is possible
    Can’t say when, but something good will be possible

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    Meditation #8

    July 11, 2011 Leave a comment

    I hurried up, and now I wait
    Pray the Lord my soul to take
    Or would if I could find some faith
    My heart’s abode, a lonesome place

  • I’m never more than what I am
    But I’m greater than the sum of my parts
    I’m aquarium blue
    I’m shot through with light
    Hollow inside
    But you know I’m all right
    Mom, I want you to know I’m all right

  • There’s enough mystery in the rational
    Confusion in the actual
    We’re in good company
    For all we’re solitary
    I know you pray for me
    But I want you to know I’m all right
    Want to believe that we’ll all be all right

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