Interlude, musing

I’ve never been the other woman
Just another woman
When neither of us was exactly what he wanted
This happens more often than I’d like

The fractals repeat themselves
The bridges burned,
scorched earth and smoking man
I’ll see them all again

Slippery Slope

And so I found myself asking the Twitterverse:

“Is it ok when a married man feels you up on several occasions? And you don’t want to be touched & didn’t invite it? And you know his wife?”

And qualifying that pathetic question with the further information: “But when [I] bring it up to [our] mutual ‘guy friends,’ they say things like, ‘Well, I can’t say I blame him’ and ‘He’s a good guy.'”

This sort of thing has happened to me more times than you’d think.

When you’re an employee at a company that distributes pornographic material, of course you’ve signed a document stating you won’t sue the company for exposure to political incorrectness. So you keep your head down. You’re a good sport. You take it like a man.

You study martial arts under an amazing martial arts master. He’s been known to tell male students that they shouldn’t buy the cow when they can get the milk for free. Also, he encourages drinking after black belt class, so things happen.

In dark corners, away from witnesses, you have been told the following:

• “I’ve always wanted to make love to an Asian chick.”
• “I just can’t control myself.”
• “I know you told me you didn’t want a relationship, but it feels like my clinical depression is coming back.”
• “You’re so smart.”

And then things happen. Or is it that you let them happen? You don’t make a fuss, because these are your friends; these are your coworkers; these are your brothers. You accept that while there is no excuse for their behavior, neither will there be retribution. You don’t want to be kicked out of the family. You don’t want to be a drag. You don’t want to ruin it for everyone else.

Sometimes, I’m not even involved. When one of the guys is obviously two-timing two of your female friends, but all your other female friends say “I want to believe the best. I want to believe the real him is the ‘good guy’ we see in class. He’s just confused.” But no one makes a move to say anything to the women involved. Because…why? They should know better?

There’s no good way to tell a woman that her husband has been pawing you. And not just tonight, and you suspect not just you. She will hate you forever.

But it’s the right thing to do.