My friend wants to see The Time Traveler’s Wife. I want to see District 9, or Julie & Julia, perhaps. My coworker recommended Funny People. I like Judd Apatow movies just fine when I see them, but why can’t I seem to love them like everyone else?

Baby steps (squats)

Really trying to activate my “posterior chain” when I do squats (baby back squats at 106#). When you initiate the movement by pushing your hips back, is the load mostly on your quads, or is there more of a pelvic/lower back tilt going on (or both)? Thinking about wedging myself between a rock…and a hard place. Wonder what the implications are for wall-balls.

I’m terrible at wall-balls. It’s mostly physical (my body doesn’t get the concept yet), but I also think, psychologically, I’m fighting the feeling that they’re just a little bit silly.

The most mysterious skill experienced Crossfitters seem to show, by far, is not the kipping pull-up, but the ability to know exactly which naked bar weighs what. Like expert trackers or chicken sexers, they’ll just squint at one of a set of seemingly identical lengths of dingy metal and pronounce, “That girl bar is 33#.”

And that, my friends, is the dream to which I now aspire.

Weather

Is it me, or has this been the COLDEST SUMMER EVER?

Question

Why do people who never have spoken my name and have only communicated with me via e-mail misspell my name (off by three whole letters and a hyphen!), when the correct spelling is just a few lines down in the body of the e-mail to which they’re replying?

It’s not that I mind, exactly, but how does that happen? I mean, cut and paste, man.

Audiobooks put me to sleep no matter how dramatically they are performed. And I’m sorry, John Hodgman, but you have a very soothing voice! The exception, weirdly, is David Sedaris, who might also be said to have a soothing voice. I desperately need him to write more essays and read them out loud.

Suggestions?

Taking a vacation on the week of August 2, for no particular reason but I was running out of time to to take it in. However, in my usual fashion of not seeing this coming, I have no plans. What should I do?

It is tempting to back out of social commitments until I can lose at least 5lbs.

Kind of like “Heroes.” Oh, snap!

After reading “A Little Princess,” I have come to the conclusion that the original, slimmer version, “Sara Crewe,” was more enjoyable. That was the version I read as a child, so I’m sure nostalgia plays a part in my preference! But really, “A Little Princess,” in comparison with the original work, has way too many characters, and Sara comes across as being a little too angelic for my taste. Where she once befriended/championed one boarding school girl and fed a single beggar, she now saves entire squadrons of small children, scullery maids, and a pet rat. Dude, I get it.

Meanwhile, “The Secret Garden” still holds up. I like Mary’s prickly style.

Okay, on to “The Final Solution: A Story of Detection” by Michael Chabon

Part 2

God, my face is so round. Every time I even think of buying make up or a piece of jewelry or a new pair of shoes, I think, Why bother? It’s just like putting lipstick on a pig. So…thanks, Obama.

That, said, I just got my period for the first time in 11 months, so yay synthetic hormones! I only wish I didn’t have to gain 5% body fat to make this happen. The last time my nun aunt saw me, back at Christmas when I was 7 lbs. lighter than I am now, she said I looked great. I have written her name on a post-it to remind myself every day that I need to lose the lard before she sees me again.

In which I whine like a girl

I can’t help shaking the feeling that maybe, in some ways, I was pushing myself harder and yet more intermittently (more randomly, as advised by paleo/primal/evolutionary fitness enthusiasts) than with Crossfit. That said, I was using machines at the gym and not, for the most part, barbells, dumbbells, and kettlebells, and obviously I didn’t know anything about form that I hadn’t learned from the internet. I don’t love Crossfit. This may be because I feel like I’m doing it, at this point, to please other people, like my ex-roommate’s brother. On the other hand, Crossfit teaches skills that I would dearly like to have.

Since starting, I seem to have gained about 5 lbs. of pure lard (per Tanita body composition measuring scale). This is possibly because getting myself to the Crossfit location for class gets me home much later, so that I eat dinner basically an hour before bedtime. Meanwhile, my body has decided that it doesn’t need a waist or a chin, and I have undone over a year’s worth of work (of diet & exercise) in the past few weeks. Yes, I am now officially guilty of bailing on social events because I am too ashamed of being fat.

It could be the hormone pills they’re giving me to increase fertility. But I’m thinking being fertile is not worth being fat, especially since (hello!) I will never be able to afford to have children anyway.

I was thinking of giving up wine and cheese, but I don’t even partake in wine and cheese that often. Although abstaining certainly wouldn’t hurt. Maybe I should give up fruit and nuts.